A Journey Out of the Darkness – Finding My ‘Big Why’!

In my current situation I have really struggled to see the light at the end of the tunnel, let alone reach it.  Since having anxiety and depression, I have felt very isolated from the world, and I lost my direction in life.

“Long is the way and hard, that out of hell leads up to the light.”

      John Milton – Paradise Lost

In her ‘Make Peace with Money’ course, Kim begins by asking people to decide on their ‘Big Why’.  The ‘Big Why’ is all about finding what you are truly passionate about, and what you really what to achieve.

I have recently been thinking about my ‘Big Why’, and realised that it involves taking a giant step away from my old life, and more importantly, allowing myself to make this step.Continue reading “A Journey Out of the Darkness – Finding My ‘Big Why’!”

The Importance of Listening, Part 2: Konrad Kellen – A Gifted Listener

One of the best examples of a truly gifted listener is Konrad Kellen.  Now this is not specific to mental health however, it does show the power of listening and how you filter the information you are given.

During the Vietnam War, Kellen heard something that should have changed the course of history.  It didn’t because he wasn’t listened to.

In the early part of the war the Pentagon created the Vietnam Motivation and Morale Project; it was started by a man named Leon Goure, who would turn out to be Kellen’s nemesis.

The US Air Force was bombing North Vietnam because they wanted to stop them supporting the insurgency in South Vietnam led by the Viet Cong.  In just the first bombing campaign of the war, ‘Operation Rolling Thunder’, the US dropped as many bombs on Vietnam as the RAF dropped on Germany throughout World War II.

The idea was to break the will of the North Vietnamese, but the problem was that the Pentagon knew nothing about the North Vietnamese, their culture, history or language; to them it was just a speck in the world.

The project’s job was to go through interviews with captured Viet Cong guerrillas (about 61,000 pages of transcripts) summarise and analyse them.

Goure took the analyses and concluded that; the Viet Cong were utterly demoralised, they were about to give up, and if pushed a little bit more they would give up.  Goure was supposedly the only man who knew the enemy, and so his conclusions were taken very seriously.  Everyone believed what Goure said, with only one exception; Konrad Kellen, he reached the opposite conclusions.

Kellen’s rethinking began with a memorable interview with a Viet Cong Captain; early in the interview he was asked if he thought the Viet Cong could win the war, and he answered no.  Pages later he was asked if he thought the US could win the war, and he answered no.

The second answer profoundly changes the meaning of the first answer; the captain did not think in terms of winning or losing at all.  An enemy who is indifferent to the outcome of a battle is the most dangerous enemy of all.

So why did Kellen see this and not Goure?  Goure was someone who filtered what he heard through his own biases; he felt that the US was the most powerful country in the history of the world; North Vietnam was a speck that had barely entered the Industrial Revolution.

Goure could not believe that anyone could stand up to the bombardment, so he read the first answer in the interview and then stopped listening.

Kellen stood up and said that Goure was wrong, that the Viet Cong were not giving up, were not demoralised, and that it was not a battle that the US could win, not today, tomorrow and not the day after tomorrow. The rest, as they say is history.

Listening is hard because the more you listen, the more unsettling the world becomes.  It’s a lot easier just to place your hands over your ears and not listen at all.  This can be true when dealing with Mental Health which even now is still a taboo subject to many people, as is illness in general.

The example of Kellen and Goure is relevant because it shows the importance of listening to everything someone has to say, so that you get a clear picture, rather than focusing on the first thing they tell you, or making them feel that they have to keep repeating themselves in order to be understood.

Konrad Kellen Source Material – BBC Website News Magazine – July 2013

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

The Importance of Listening, Part 1.

“People don’t always need advice. 

Sometimes all they really need is a hand to hold,

an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them.”

                                                                                  Unknown

Listening is probably the most important thing you can do to help someone with any kind of health issue, not just anxiety and depression.

People can feel embarrassed about a problem they have, they may feel that it makes them appear weak or that they will not be taken seriously.

If a friend or relative does come to you and wants to open up to you about a problem they are experiencing the first thing to remember is that you do not have to fix the problem or give advice, especially if it is to do with a subject that you have no knowledge of.Continue reading “The Importance of Listening, Part 1.”

Can Caffeine Make you More Depressed?

During January I hit a serious bout of depression, which was at a level that was hugely magnified compared to what I had experienced before.

I had no energy, wanted to stay in bed, and the anxiety was really bad; I was more irritable and would get angry at the smallest thing to a point where I just could not control my emotions, and had to go and hide in the bedroom; I was not interested in food, my motivation to do anything was zero, and I was seriously craving alcohol.

What the hell was going on?Continue reading “Can Caffeine Make you More Depressed?”

Metro Headline a bit ‘Low Strength’

Some of you may have seen the front page of Metro newspaper this morning with the headline:

Low-Strength Booze ‘is sold as soft drink’ – Weaker products could increase alcohol intake.

While I am delighted that low strength alcohol is making front page news, I am sorry to see that it is being shown in a negative way and there is a bit of scaremongering that these products will cause greater problems with alcohol.

This is a subject that I am passionate about, and something that I am looking into in greater detail because I have had serious problems with alcohol due to anxiety and depression, and it is a serious problem in general that needs to be addressed.Continue reading “Metro Headline a bit ‘Low Strength’”